I am still struggling with temping.
This chart isnt a true reflection as the last two nights before last night i was up with my daughter due to a viral infection. I am hoping that i get it right. I have set an alarm and am hoping my body clock is trained eventually.
I have been taking vitamins and exercising more.
What a FAFF testing is. At the start of this month i bought the clear blue digital tests with the dual monitor. You get flashing smiley faces and then a positive smile. I ran out of those within five days and didn’t get it. I did start testing at cd5 which was stupid of me. I then bought the other ones which gave me a positive at cycle day 15.
Funny though i already knew it was positive as i had started temping and got a high temp. I then had the delightful egg mucus that heralded its grand arrival.
I have decided from now on i will be testing from cycle day ten but i will defo temping.
All over my newsfeed today is my UK friends posts regarding mothers day. People celebrating being mothers and rightly so. For many tho there is a tinge of sadness. Ladies have had losses and miscarriages. There are people who will be visiting there children’s graves or there parents.
I have no grave to visit my child and I will never know if they were a girl or boy. I never got to hold them or kiss them. On St Patricks day I miscarried my child and a piece of my heart died. Today me and my daughter are going for a walk to feed the ducks.
I will focus on the light of my life. I try to focus on her as she is all I have. She is my world.
Hello all my readers.
Things have been very busy in my world and I completely forgot to update. So here it is.
I have had to put the AI dreams on hold whilst I concentrate on sorting mine and Lucys situation out. Things have been hard and I am very exhausted but I know it will all be worth it in the end.
Lucy is 17 months now and a walking, talking ball of exhausting fun. She is running, playing, pen holding, knife and fork holding toddler who is growing up so much.
I am sorry things have been quiet but here it is.
Its that time of the month where a woman could become a mum and I had a donor lined up. Today he cancelled. Devastated doesnt quite cover how I feel really. Shelling out money for tests and everything I need for the donor to turn around and say he changed his mind.
I often have this feeling that men have the upperhand in all of this. Maybe I should get a job, save up and go to a clinic and have IVF.
Everything happens for a reason. I worked out if I am successful this month then there is a chance that I will give birth when my daughter is two. Which is a perfect gap. I have bought a few things to give me a boost.
Seven Seas Trying for a baby which worked last time (sadly ended in a miscarriage) and Brazil nuts, They apparently boost fertility. I am taking 4 a day. I am due to start my period in a few days and hopefully it will be spot on I am doing my next insemination on the 19th. I hope this time I get my dates right.
The only minor thing I am worried about is that I am moving a month later. So I know if this doesnt work it will be a while before I can try again.
Bye for now.
Yesterday I got my positive OPK. Not what you want when you have the insemination booked for next week. I am so dissapointed. Its set me into a spiral and I am feeling pretty low. However I have it booked for next month and fingers crossed that this time I am spot on.
So after much thinking of my circumstances and what I wanted I knew I wanted a baby sooner than later. My little girl brings me so much joy, but I dont feel complete. However I felt like I was in a bind. I couldnt afford to go to a clinic. I had read about forums that offer this kind of services and I was curious.
So a quick google gave me several links. I posted a thread on the main site and had no response. So I turned to facebook. I was surprised at how many groups there were. They are not doing anything illegal as the sperm isnt frozen.
So I posted a thread on a few of the groups and hoped that I would get the answer.
This is when the fun started.
Just an example of the kind of thing I am dealing with. I want a baby, but I am not going to comprise my values for it. Unprotected sex with a complete stranger isnt to my taste. So then I started to give it up as a bad job when I looked at my other mail box I saw a message from a donor and when I read I knew that this was the guy.
Blond hair, blues and completely clean and healthy. He has checks every 3 months and seems to be very fertile. So after a half an hour chat on the phone with the insemination booked. Its a simple cup and syringe thing.
I praying for a positive outcome.
Until Next time.
Sometimes I think I barely have time to sit down and breath. There is always something I need to do. I go to 3 groups a week with LO and I also attend therapy and will hopefully be starting driving lessons next week.
L is teething at the moment and its obviously even more painful due to her cutting molars. She is also very dependant on her dummy and bottle. I dont really know why as I do give her comfort and lots of mummy hugs.
I have been taking prenatal vitamans which are meant to help conception and could potentially have a donor in the works. I am feeling hopeful.
This week has been hardwork. I have barely allowed myself to sit down and I am feeling exhausted. I guess thats what you do when you have so much on your mind. It doesnt help my wonderful little girl is cutting her back teeth and they are clearly causing her pain. The diet isnt going well either, three bad days in a row and I guess I will pay for it at weigh in,
On the IUI side I have been having a look at clinics and I am researching my options. I have grown worried about waiting list and other things but I hope that next year it will be the right time.
Being A mum on my own 