Temping

I am still struggling with temping.

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This chart isnt a true reflection as the last two nights before last night i was up with my daughter due to a viral infection.  I am hoping that i get it right. I have set an alarm and am hoping my body clock is trained eventually.

I have been taking vitamins and exercising more.

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Temping and testing.

What a FAFF testing is. At the start of this month i bought the clear blue digital tests with the dual monitor.  You get flashing smiley faces and then a positive smile. I ran out of those within five days and didn’t get it. I did start testing at cd5 which was stupid of me. I then bought the other ones which gave me a positive at cycle day 15.

Funny though i already knew it was positive as i had started temping and got a high temp. I then had the delightful egg mucus that heralded its grand arrival.

I have decided from now on i will be testing from cycle day ten but i will defo temping.

Mothers Day.

All over my newsfeed today is my UK friends posts regarding mothers day. People celebrating being mothers and rightly so. For many tho there is a tinge of sadness. Ladies have had losses and miscarriages. There are people who will be visiting there children’s graves or there parents.

I have no grave to visit my child and I will never know if they were a girl or boy. I never got to hold them or kiss them. On St Patricks day I miscarried my child and a piece of my heart died. Today me and my daughter are going for a walk to feed the ducks.

I will focus on the light of my life. I try to focus on her as she is all I have. She is my world.

Update

Hello all my readers.

Things have been very busy in my world and I completely forgot to update. So here it is.

I have had to put the AI dreams on hold whilst I concentrate on sorting mine and Lucys situation out. Things have been hard and I am very exhausted but I know it will all be worth it in the end.

Lucy is 17 months now and a walking, talking ball of exhausting fun. She is running, playing, pen holding, knife and fork holding toddler who is growing up so much.

I am sorry things have been quiet but here it is.

Dissapointment again.

Its that time of the month where a woman could become a mum and I had a donor lined up. Today he cancelled. Devastated doesnt quite cover how I feel really. Shelling out money for tests and everything I need for the donor to turn around and say he changed his mind.

I often have this feeling that men have the upperhand in all of this. Maybe I should get a job, save up and go to a clinic and have IVF.

Feeling positive

Everything happens for a reason. I worked out if I am successful this month then there is a chance that I will give birth when my daughter is two. Which is a perfect gap. I have bought a few things to give me a boost.

Seven Seas Trying for a baby which worked last time (sadly ended in a miscarriage) and Brazil nuts, They apparently boost fertility. I am taking 4 a day. I am due to start my period in a few days and hopefully it will be spot on I am doing my next insemination on the 19th. I hope this time I get my dates right.

The only minor thing I am worried about is that I am moving a month later. So I know if this doesnt work it will be a while before I can try again.

Bye for now.

Dissapointment

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Yesterday I got my positive OPK. Not what you want when you have the insemination booked for next week. I am so dissapointed. Its set me into a spiral and I am feeling pretty low. However I have it booked for next month and fingers crossed that this time I am spot on.